1 year after baptizm

A year has passed since my baptism — I am now in the 369th day since that sacred moment. I can only say: when you are touched by the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Holy Spirit, and the Lord God Almighty, your life becomes so beautiful — beautiful in a way that this world hardly knows.

Everything you once thought or did becomes lost. The sins you once considered insignificant become crystal clear. You consciously see the traps and lies of this world. Those little lies enter a person when he doesn’t see the trap, when he thinks it’s not a sin. But how long can you carry such a sin?

After baptism, I received such grace, love, joy, and strength… I could write for hours about everything I’ve received. Now I understand that our Christian life is beautiful and somewhat difficult — not difficult like the world is, but emotionally difficult. Because I want to help everyone, but some don’t want that. They push away, thinking it’s madness, but we just want to spread the Gospel from the Bible.

The spiritual attacks I faced were mostly:

Negative thoughts

Lies

Blasphemies

Screaming

Voice imitation

Physical feeling of evil attacks

Through other people — especially my parents who don’t believe and don’t know about my baptism.

Why don’t they know? Because they said to me, “What do you have to do with God, son?” That hit me the hardest. But the worst was when they cursed God — it wounded me deeply, and I said, with all my emotions:

“God, I love You, but I cannot tell my own family that You, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, are my first priority.”

As days go by, I increasingly think about going to a Franciscan monastery — to die there with my brothers, to cry, love, pray, sing, help my brothers and lost sisters who are afraid, thinking they are beyond hope. But no one is beyond hope. We are all children of God. Whether you are from another faith, Chinese, Black, Arab — we are all God’s children.

I try to speak to my parents about God, just to see where they stand. But it doesn’t work. Every word about faith — they fall silent. I just want to know whether their hearts are open or closed, because I want to dedicate my life to the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, in poverty until the end.

What fascinates me the most is Saint Francis of Assisi, especially his words: “He lay on the ground.” I understand him. Somewhere it’s written that during attacks of evil, he would go into the forest or throw himself into a thorn bush. I deeply understand him.

I translate from my langugae to english grammar by chatgpt