Prayer request

Hi I have a prayer request. I’m 50. I’m mentally disabled. So I wasn’t a father for my son. I don’t deserve to be alive. He rightfully hates me. My prayer request is for God to heal him and save him.

That God would forgive me. My entire life has been wrong. Only mistakes and I’ve sinned so much. Pray if there is still hope for me with God that he would somehow tell me. Because I have no idea if he loves me or not.