Truthfully I’m a Christian who really struggles with the idea of premarital sex as wrong. Especially when I can’t find any direct command in the Bible not to do it.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve had premarital sex, I was going to wait until marriage, but I ultimately had sex because I felt like I would never find a man if I didn’t. I’ve only ever slept with 2 people, but as I get older the more I can’t understand why premarital sex is seen as a sin. I get the whole “keep the marriage bed pure” thing, but to me that seems more like don’t stray outside your marriage. I also think that no premarital sex was based on the notion of inability to treat stds back in the day, or things like not being able to tell who was the father of a baby, etc that could cause a stir…the other thing being that a man essential paid for a virgin to Mary, and if she wasn’t a virgin it was a beech in contract of a deal, didn’t real seem to have to do with God’s law. Anyway. That’s all. I want to be celibate, but I’m also wanting to get physical witha boyfriend. It’s an insane mental battle.