Being angry at myself and my actions is a clear sign?

I hate with my life the way I am, today while thinking , I did something stupid, I saw a cream that I liked, my mind started to give imaginations about how someone gave me the cream, and I gave thanks to the devil, I knew I should give thanks to god, but for some reason , I gave them to the devil, I don’t remember the intention, I don’t remember if I did it out of hate, nothing, I assure you they were not intrusive thoughts, I think if it was of my own free will, I feel frustrated, angry, not with god, with myself, for thinking up such things knowing it shouldn’t be like that, I feel angry for myself, I’m sure I don’t want to blaspheme, but my self-hatred and more with this kind of thoughts frustrates me, because after that, I was more irritable, angry with my parents, this doesn’t stop itching in my head, the fact of blaspheming I don’t like, in fact, it makes me angry I can’t feel concern, or guilt, I want to but I can’t, something tells me that if I blaspheme, I will blaspheme.If it makes me a bit uneasy and frustrated not to feel anything, not to be able to regret anything, nothing.