Prayer request

Hello everybody😊 I hope you are having a lovely day or night. Please no PMs.

I never post but please pray for my guidance, strength and optimism. I am hurting really badly and although I am used to sadness it is like no other. I have quit one of my jobs so that I can go to therapy and recover mentally. I feel like I am losing my mind. It feels like there is a knife in my heart. Please pray that I am safe and that nobody is hurting me in any way. The more good I do the worse my fate becomes. I will never ever change, I will never do bad things big or small, but I do not want to become cynical or bitter. I always judged people like this but I never understood how much pain it takes to become this way. But it is not the answer. I will never not be good. No matter the pain I stayed believing in the good in people but now it is different. I want to be myself, kind, understanding, and full of grace no matter how I am treated. Forgiving. I punish myself for others treating me poorly and I am scared of it having really negative consequences in the future on my health. I have lost all hope and I am really scared. Please pray for my guidance and peace. I am desperate for prayers. Please let the good I give come back to me in small and big ways. Please protect me from evil. Have a blessed day or night☀️