Am I saved?

I grew up in a genuine christian household where nothing but the truth of the bible was taught to me. I saw Gods nature first hand as life went on and decided I believe in him and that I was his, I asked and prayed that I may be saved, I said I repented in this prayer years ago when I was 16. I felt a genuine connection with the Lord, but I still sparingly cussed, I still lusted and posted innapropiate things, got high.. it continued to snowball and now i’m about to try meth, i’m having multiple sexual relationships, I lie, cheat, all without really batting an eye, sometimes I look forward to sinning boastfully at 20.

This would leave me to believe that i’m not saved.. but why do I still feel so convicted after the sin, why do I hear Gods warnings in my ear when i’m about to sin, why do I weep when I unexpectedly hear worship music or a sermon and feel a pain in my heart.. I feel like even in sin I don’t belong with it.

It’s confusing because i’ve been trying to convince myself im not saved and to live freely in sin but God is ALWAAYYYS on my mind and I cannot HELP it. Am I saved but just extremely ignorant? What am I, and what does this mean for me?