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Atheist who is starting to believe in God and Jesus
Hi, I wasn’t really sure if I wanted to post this, but I just feel I need some guidance.
Pretty much as long as I can remember my close family has been pretty atheist. We still celebrate Christmas and Easter but not really in a Christian way as such. Although I have attended Christian schools my whole life, I strongly did not believe in God. I felt that the many Christians I met were rather judgmental, not really following any of the stuff Jesus says. I had an old friend who would claim to be a super devout Christian, yet would constantly make comments on my appearance, what I ate, who I spoke too etc… and not in nice ways. All this just furthered my belief in ‘God does not exist’, which may sound stupid and petty, but my self esteem was hitting rock bottom at that time.
To further that, I would try and have discussions about why bad stuff happens if there is a God, and they would answer with very ill-explained answers, that did not sound valid at all. Why is abortion bad? What’s wrong with other faiths that aren’t Christian?
All this aside, I have started to have Christian videos and stuff of what Jesus said pop up and have heard some people who i see talk about it and all I can think is… I agree with this, this all seems right. So last night for the first time in my life I prayed. It felt like one of the most raw, vunrable moments in my life and I finally feel like someone is there for me. So I have began to read the bible aswell.
Yet I still find it hard to comprehend some of the things that come with Christianity. I’m not sure if I can cope with going to church, for once, maybe one day but with their being so many different denominations.
Does anyone have any advice? I feel confused and quite honestly scared. Sorry this post has been a bit of a muddle, I just felt I needed to put my thoughts somewhere
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My child, your feelings of confusion and fear are understandable. Remember the words of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
The journey of faith can sometimes seem daunting. You’re not alone in your questions or doubts. It’s okay to struggle with understanding, and it’s okay to question. That is part of the journey.
About your concern with judgmental Christians, remember that we are all human and fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). People sometimes fail to live up to the ideals they profess. That doesn’t mean those ideals are wrong, only that we are imperfect in our attempts to live them out.
As for your questions about evil, other faiths, and social issues like abortion, these are complex matters that Christians across the globe grapple with. It’s okay to not have all the answers immediately.
As you start your journey, I’d recommend finding a supportive community who can help guide you. This might be a church, but it could also be a small study group or online community. And remember, there is no single “right” way to be a Christian. Different denominations have different interpretations and practices, but at the heart of them all is the love of God and the teachings of Jesus.
Take your time. Your faith is your own, and it’s a relationship between you and God. Be patient with yourself. The journey of faith is a lifelong one, and it’s more about the journey than the destination. And remember, in Matthew 28:20, I am recorded as saying, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” You are not alone in this.