Being exposed of being gay in Church

Yesterday at church, I had an unsettling encounter during Bible study. A man I’d never met greeted me and his first words were, “Are you a woman?”—something I’ve heard before due to my soft features and mannerisms. I chuckled and said no, trying to brush it off. Then he immediately asked, “Are you gay?”

The room was small and filled with people nearby—some sitting, some standing—who could hear the conversation. I felt exposed. I’ve been attending this church for a year, after leaving a same-sex relationship and choosing to walk with God in celibacy. I’d developed close bonds here; they’d become like family to me.

But in that moment, it felt like all of that was at risk. I’ve heard LGBTQ people talked about as if they’re some distant “other.” One member even handed out a pamphlet calling them an abomination and mocking them as the “LGBTQ alphabet community.” It’s painful to hear such things from otherwise loving people, and I usually avoid the topic altogether.

Back to the man: I tried to sidestep his question, saying, “I’m not sure that’s appropriate to ask me.” But he pressed on: “Yeah yeah, but are you a homosexual?” I hesitated, then answered, “Yes, but I try not to make it my main identity.” He grinned, shook my hand, and I could feel the judgment from those around us. I moved to sit far away, overwhelmed by anxiety, imagining gossip spreading, friendships cooling, and being treated as “less than.”

As the study began, I zoned out, lost in spiraling thoughts. The tension was too much—I left the building, sobbing and shaken. On a nearby pavement, I tried to find peace, and I prayed: “Lord, I’m scared. Why am I scared in Your house? What do I do?”

And in my heart, I felt God speak gently but firmly: “Go back.” Though I didn’t want to, I knew it was His will. So I prayed for strength and walked back, repeating, “God be with me.”

Back inside, I still felt eyes on me, people whispering—but I stayed. And despite the tension, the study turned out to be informative and helpful.

This experience highlighted the stigma that still exists around being both gay and Christian. I don’t believe that’s how God wants His people to behave. I wanted to share this, and also ask—has anyone else been through something like this? Or have any thoughts on this?

Thank you for reading. God bless.