Dilemma

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe in God and that He is a loving God, but I have a question about inequality and upbringing.

I know everyone goes through their own struggles and difficulties, but seem better equipped to handle struggles. (i.e., someone brought up in the church, with faithful, nurturing, loving parents). These are people that have no doubts they are loved and supported.

Then you take someone like me (born to a schizophrenic mother and alcoholic, abusive father). I am already off to a bad start and trying to learn what is normal and acceptable and believe that I am worthy and loved. I feel disadvantaged, like it would be easier to be a good person if I wasn’t already fighting personal demons from my childhood. It would be easier to be a good person, if I had not been exposed to so much neglect and abuse at an early age.

It feels like I am on a fast track to hell because I didn’t have good modeled to me and now I am having to fight against instincts I developed as a result of my upbringing.