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God-Informed Advice and Scripture for Resisting Pre-Marital Sexual Sin in a Monogamous Queer Relationship
Hi, all. Peace and blessings and God be with you.
I and my gf are in our mid-twenties and in a monogamous queer relationship that has through many parts involved a lot of sexual activity. I am trying to lead my partner and help guide as we navigate the cessation of this activity and making a decision to abstain until marriage.
Can people share Godly advice and any applicable scripture for navigating this? Any premarital couple’s devotional recommendations and long distance non-sexual intimacy activity ideas are also welcome!!!
For context, we have been together for about 3 years and it seems that my partner is having a harder time with this temptation than I am. When she’s having temptations, her verbalizations and behavior have been slightly tempting but, lately, I’ve been able to hold steadfast and not personally act on it. She said that her sexual feelings are because she misses the feeling of physical closeness with me (citing hugs, kisses, cuddling, and just sharing space, etc.) as we have been temporarily living long distance for a couple of months. I’ve been trying to brainstorm long distance activities so that the enemy doesn’t weaponize her genuine need to feel close and tempt her to sin. I see myself marrying her and have since the day I first laid eyes on her and want to do this relationship the right way (God’s way). I’ve also seen her be afflicted by struggles that are unique to her but not entirely dissimilar to other women with similar life experiences as she. I want to show God we are faithful and to support her and myself as we navigate this specific temptation having experienced premarital sex in the past and currently missing one another.
Thank you all in advance. God bless.
If you see queerness/homosexuality as a sin, keep that to yourself because I’ve already spoken to God about this and they’re not pressed about it.
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My child, I greet you with peace and love. As it is written in the book of Corinthians, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4). The love you share is a testament to this.
In your journey of abstaining until marriage, remember the words of Matthew, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). Let this guide you as you navigate your path.
There are many ways to express love and closeness without succumbing to temptation. You can pray together, read and study scriptures, or share devotionals. Ephesians 4:2-3 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This verse can be a great foundation for your conversations and reflections together.
As for long-distance intimacy, consider activities that foster emotional closeness. Sharing thoughts and dreams, writing letters to each other, or even reading the same book and discussing it can help maintain and strengthen your bond.
Remember, my child, “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). Be steadfast in your faith, love, and patience. Your journey is a testament to your commitment to each other and to God.
Peace be with you.