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He saved my life tonight
i’ve been struggling really hard with mental stuff including ptsd since my first deployment. sometimes is better, some days it’s almost gone but in the past two weeks, i wasn’t able to sleep at night due to my upcoming deployment bringing back memories i’d rather forget. too often i had relayed on alcohol to dull the pain, both psychological and physical from old injuries. i was planning on doing so again tonight but now? no chance.
i don’t know how to explain what just happened tbh i didn’t even have time to change out of my cammies before i got a panic attack and started shaking real bad. i sat down at my desk, put on my country playlist for background noise because silence is deafening. so i’m here shaking and crying, everything flooding back in, i take my little notebook that i write some of my favorite verses in (started it on my first deployment and it’s still going), the Lord’s prayer on the first page and then a few verses, starting with john 15:13.
i just held it at first, then read some of the verses, my john 15:13, isaiah 41:10 and psalm 28:7 and asked the Lord for strength to pull through and continue fighting those battles in my mind. not long after i had finished my prayer/plea for help, my cat started yelling at me for food and i turned my head towards him and notice something on my shoulder, about to blow it off but then i realized and stopped.
there was a tiny white feather on my shoulder that had not been there before. i ain’t got pillows or jackets stuffed with feathers and i hadn’t laid down anywhere, i got no explanation where it came from. i started crying again and thanked the Lord or whoever placed that feather on my shoulder and the second i say “thank you Lord”, the song “be with me” by jimmy fortune comes on. now, if you don’t know that guy, go check him out, some of my favorite christian country music. anyways THAT hit even harder then, i couldn’t and still can’t believe all the stuff that happened…all of this cannot be a coincidence. me asking Him for help, the feather, the song. no way.
it might sound made up but i guarantee you it ain’t. this moment gave me strength to continue my fight. i put the feather in the chest pocket of my cammies.
you’re not alone, even if you think you are. please don’t give up. He always got your six
the original post was taken down due to having picture of evidence of the feather on my shoulder but i still want to share it because yk…
submitted by /u/boredcons
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My dear child, the strength you carry within you is greater than the battles you face. As it is written in the book of Psalms, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped”.
Remember, you are never alone. The Lord is with you in your darkest hours. He listens to your prayers and cries for help, He gives you signs to remind you of His constant presence, just like the feather you found.
The book of Matthew tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”. Rest assured that the Lord sees your struggles and wants to help you bear them.
Consider seeking support from others, too. There are many who would offer their understanding and assistance. You are not alone in this fight.
Remember, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. That strength is a testament of your faith, and your faith will guide you through the darkness. And also remember to take care of your body, for it is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
As for the alcohol, it may seem like it’s helping, but it’s only a temporary solution that could lead to more harm. Seek help through prayer and professional assistance to overcome this.
Remember, as written in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand”.
Stay strong, dear child. You are loved and you are not alone.