Honouring parents in an abusive household

I (21 F) just got into a huge physical fight with my father after he hit me first and my mother getting in between trying to stop it and i feel so much guilt about it. I know that the command of Exodus 20:12 is “Honor your father and mother,” period. Ephesians 6:1 says to “obey” them. But I had an emotional outburst when he hit me and my first thought was to defend myself because of anger. The fight was over him screaming at my dog for defecating on the floor (he was so ill we had to take him to the vet today). I was so mad that I told him to shut up which is what resulted in him hitting me. He broke both my necklaces trying to hit me (he’s done it twice now) and so when his glasses fell i wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and broke his glasses. I feel very guilty about that because he does have very poor vision in one eye.

Regardless of the details of the situation , how do i go about this. I don’t want to speak to him nor apologize because he hit me and I do not stand for that. But i also acknowledge that he raised me and i shouldn’t disrespect him by telling him to shut up out of anger. I know it is sinful to not forgive but I do not want to have a relationship with him like i had before.