How can I feel god?

I feel so distant from god. I want to feel him with me. I don’t know how to, though. Am I too much of a sinner? People have been saying that every wrong choice I make will send me to hell and the people who say I’m forgiven are lying to me. But by a pastor I’ve been told I’m always forgiven even before I ask for forgiveness. What do I do to ask? I don’t understand anything anymore and it’s really hard because I want to be a good Christian, but I just feel like I’m going to hell, and it’s scary.