I had an abortion

TW To anybody who reads this thank you in advance for hearing my story and my feelings.

I’m 20 now, when I was 17 I was in a relationship with who I thought was a “christian” man. That man ruined my life and I hate for allowing myself for letting him control me. He was my first boyfriend and I truly was so blinded by what I thought was love. I was with him for two years and I ended up pregnant. He was cheating on me, The whole relationship. Slept with girls, had a separate Snapchat account, separate phone to text girls. I didn’t know. I felt so alone. I was pregnant when I found out everything. I cried so so hard. I truly felt so alone. My parents have told me before if I ever ended up pregnant they would disown me and kick me out. I knew they weren’t bluffing because they had found some messages prior and my mother almost kicked me out. I felt so alone. I couldn’t trust my boyfriend and I couldn’t rely on my parents and all of the circumstances led me to believe that aborting my baby would be the best. I still haven’t healed. I regret it everyday. I wish I had support. I’m not sure where to go from here I feel like a true monster. I would like prayers, or any advice please.