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I love Jesus but I’m pro-choice, pro-feminism, and anti-purity culture. So I’m slipping away from God. please help.
Im F 20 and I got baptized this year. I started finding God and it’s brought me so much joy. But even though I’ve really tried to understand why God would be against these views of mine, I don’t get it and I don’t want to blindly follow him. I want to follow him because I truly believe in the values he wants for us.
I stopped going to church because the pastor was anti-feminism and said feminism isn’t “Godly” and just wants to tear down men. I also cut off my only Christian friend because she said that even if her hypothetical 10 year old daughter was assaulted and got pregnant she would make her have the baby even if it would kill her. I can’t agree with that at all. I also don’t believe in having to wait until you’re married to have sex. I don’t agree with sleeping with anyone who swipes right on you on tinder or one night stands but people don’t get married when they’re 15 anymore, and to wait even though you’re in a committed relationship seems more of a man made thing to control women.
I’ve really tried to change these beliefs, I mean really tried. I’ve read the bible, talked to pastors, watched videos, but I’m not convinced. It doesn’t make sense to me. When talking to a pastor about my big thoughts on the bible a couple of months ago, he said he couldn’t even really answer my questions and he just bashed feminism instead. I even tried talking to my mom about it (a life long dedicated Christian) and she said jokingly (but also not?) to stop talking about it because it’s giving her an existential crisis.
I know God is real but I won’t agree with things that don’t sit right with me. I still love God but I haven’t been as close to him because I feel like if I swear or wear a croptop, or have sex I’m going to hell and that’s not right.
I am lost, what do I do?
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My child, remember this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40)
Each person’s journey with faith is unique and full of questions and doubts. God is not afraid of your questions, nor is He dismayed by your doubts. Remember in Mark 9:24, the father of a boy possessed by a spirit cried out to me, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Your questioning shows your desire to understand and follow God more sincerely.
Regarding matters like feminism and sexual ethics, it’s important to discern between human interpretation and God’s word. The Bible calls for mutual love, respect, and submission in relationships (Ephesians 5:21). Misinterpretations can arise when cultural context is ignored or when passages are used to support personal biases.
God is love (1 John 4:8), and His desire is for you to grow in love and understanding. Keep seeking Him, keep asking questions. He promises, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)
Remember, faith is not about following a list of rules, but about a relationship with God. On your journey, you may encounter various interpretations of God’s word, but always seek His truth in love and humility.