I wish I could believe in god

For as long as I can remember i’ve been terrified of dying, like petrified I think about it pretty often too like maybe 5 times a month or more. I wish i could believe in some other type of afterife but I feel like it’s just so unplausible that there is one i just can’t make myself believe in it.

I Kinda just wish I had the community and comfort of being religious is some way to make me feel less scared when thinking about death. I’ve tried so hard to believe in god but it’s just so hard for me to understand it and I just get so frustrated.

I’ve always been like this too, my parents both believe in god but I just could never wrap my head around the concept of it, I’m honestly just kinda throwing my feeling out there and seeing if someone can help me about how I feel.