I’m a new Christian; I try to pray every day. Recently I’ve been doing a lot of cocaine with alcohol and have stopped praying because I feel I’m not good enough for God. Am I supposed to keep praying every day?

I’m sorry if this is a ramble. I’m very coked up and confused about my relationship with God. Am I good enough right now? I just want to be good enough for God.

I have been getting into a coke habit after being good off drugs for a bit. I’ve been semi-Christian for a while now. I was praying to Jesus every day. Matter of fact Jesus was answering my prayers in a way nothing had before. This was clearly the answer. But recently I’ve been on my vices. I love feeling good. I’ve been doing cocaine. So, after I started, I knew I was going on a bender and stopped praying. Why would I talk to God if I knew I was consciously defying him every day. I know it’s not right, and I shouldn’t do it, but I just know I’m going to. I don’t feel I deserve to talk to God after he answered a lot of my prayers, and I started doing hard drugs again. Am I supposed to keep talking to him? How can I do that when I’m totally defying him and know I’m going to continue to do so right now. I can’t stop myself and don’t want to, even though I spiritually want to. Help please.