I’m a sinner.

Hello I want to start this off by saying, I’m a mess and I’m broken to the core. I have failed everyone around me, myself, and God.

My name is Jacob. I am an alcoholic at 22 years old. I watched three people die of cancer slowly, someone commit suicide, an aneurysm, and drug abuse.

Among those things much more happened to me, and life has become gotten to a really bad point, currently I’ve been drinking all night and it’s 7:34 am. Everyday I wake up and my body hurts or I just can’t find it in myself to get up. I’ve lost joy and hope, I have not a single friend. My family knows I’m struggling and nobody cares. I reached out for help a lot of times. And now idk I know god is good and loving but I just doubt whether he’s there sometimes, I’m in a lot of pain, physical and mental. I wish he’d just take me away sometimes and I’m sorry for being so grim but it’s true. I don’t know why or how I keep going but I pray he has a bigger plan than I know. Something good to come out of this and really I don’t know why I come here to say this, I’m really just reaching out I guess, I’m doing things in my life, I’m trying to be my best but I’m surrounded by nothing good and I have a lack of any kind of support or love.

I have older posts here, they entail more.