Im homophobic towards myself?? Help??

Sorry for my broken english, not my first language and im panicking as im writing this

Ok so im 17F and I like this girl and I like her a lot like yk how a kid feels when they like someone as a crush ? Yea thats now it is

And I dont rlly care about same sex relationships, and I once was lgbt too but im tryna like just stop that now cause ive been convicted and saw that like same sex stuff is lustful and if someone is a part of thr lgbt community

But its so different if its towards myself, ive already set on to myself that I want to get married to a guy, I want my first relationship to be a guy, I want that guy to be like my father of someone better than my dad and is a Man of God

BUT THIS GIRL 😭😭💔💔💞 Butterflies in my stomach and I wanna get to know her more and stuff, and what if I convert her too yk? Shes not necessarily my type cause she vapes, not really religious n stuff but at the same time her company is nice ans throughout the school year ive been having a crush on her and I didnt really care sincd its just a crush

UNTIL WE BOTH FOUND OUT WE LIKED EACHOTHER😭 AND IM HAPPY AND NOT HAPPY RN?? CAUSE.. ITS NOT RIGHT??? BUT I WANNA YK HELLLPPPP😭💔💔💔