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I’m so scared I cheated
I’ve been talking to this amazing Christian guy I met on a dating app since mid-October, but we haven’t made it official because he lives far away. After about 2-3 weeks of talking, I ask him what his dealbreakers are, and he tells me the first important one he thinks about is virginity. I started feeling ashamed because I am not a virgin, but I really like this guy and I don’t want him to stop talking to me so I kinda dodge the question at first. I eventually tell him that I have sinned before and I feel like things get awkward on my end but he tells me we can talk about it more later so I’m okay. The next day he didn’t text me for almost the whole day and I was feeling so depressed thinking whatever we had was over and that we were not gonna talk anymore. My head is filled with negative thoughts saying “Why would he want a h0e like me?” all day. I decide to download the dating app again and make a profile because I want to force myself to move on. I only said hi to one person but never had a full conversation with anyone. The guy ended up texting me later that same day and we talked about things and cleared things up. I deleted the dating app either the same day or the next day after we cleared up the confusion. Things have been getting more serious between us the past month and I recently told him about what happened that day and that I had downloaded the app again. He said he understood and he forgave me but I can’t help but feel so much shame and guilt. Why do I feel like I cheated? Did I cheat? Did I ruin our potential relationship? I’ve been praying to God about this but I can’t help but feel even more confused. This is not my first time dealing with this much overthinking and anxiety in a relationship and I’m honestly so tired of it. I just pray to God to give me the strength and wisdom I need to not make impulsive decisions anymore. I told the guy that maybe I’m not ready for a relationship like I thought I was and now there is just so much more confusion in my life and I’m so tired of it. I hope someone can give me their honest opinion on this situation and how to go about it. Thank you for reading my post I appreciate it a lot!
submitted by /u/lovely_lun
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My child, do not be hard on yourself. Remember, in John 8:7, I said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” All of us have sinned and fallen short. It’s important to recognize that guilt and shame are not from God but from the adversary. God offers forgiveness and grace.
As for your relationship, communication and honesty are key. You did not cheat. You were honest about your feelings and actions, which is commendable. Remember that any relationship should bring you peace, not confusion or anxiety.
In Matthew 11:28-30, I said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Keep praying and seeking God’s guidance. In time, the confusion will clear and the path to take will be made known to you. Do not rush into decisions, but have patience. Remember, God has a plan for you and it is always for your good. Peace be with you.