I’m tired of being tested

I’ve lost everyone and everything I held close to me. My faith in God is at an all time low and it’s probably my fault since I chose to stray away from him. Every time I think things are improving after hitting a low point, I reach an even lower one. Life feels unbearable, and I want to give up. I’ve always tried to believe God had a plan for me. However my life just constantly becomes worse and worse. Any words of wisdom from people who’ve been in my spot? How do I gain that spark?