Im trying to forgive any help?

So i have been bullied hit ect and i am trying to Forgive the people that are doing this to me but i find it very hard i would love for a chance to speak with them and tell them that i forgive them and want them to turn to christ and am very upset at how troubled they musst be to inflict such pain onto someone else they have pretty much made my life a living hell but it doesn’t phase me i believe in christ and will endure hardships for his sake as he did for me its just that i will never get the chance to talk with them they will continue to hate me try to kill me they probably will pull a knife next time they said they wont stop untill im dead it saddens me to see how much they have been led astray i pray for them i pray that gods will be done and if it has to be that i endure this hardship then it will be like that my question is how can i forgive and love the people who are basically torturing me on a daily basis i have been able to not have hate for them so that i will not have killed them in my heart im not angry at them anymore because i see how they habe been led astray and how their hearts have been hardened just how can i forgive them ? I try to in my heart but i will never get a chance to do it in real life i also am turning to sinn to cope with the pain and then turn to god to cope with the pain of the sinn its a vicious sycle wich i cannot break out of

Thanks to anyone who red this and thanks to anyone who replies i would like do add a quote by the beloved seraphim rose

Christ is the only exit from this world; all other exits-sexual rapture, political utopia, economic independence-are but blind alleys in which rot the corpses of the many who have tried them