Is it possible for heaven to just be oblivion?

Growing up, I was told I want to go to heaven, so I can live forever in gods perfection. I don’t. Theres nothing god can do to make me happy, my misery is internal, not external. I hate everything about me, I’ve never wanted anything except to stop being aware of myself. I want to be laid to rest, I don’t want to move on to something better

My trauma is part of me, god can’t just remove it, or else he’d be sentencing me to nonexistence (while sending a non-traumatized clone to heaven as my replacement). This got me thinking, is it possible that god would grant my wish? Upon entering heaven, maybe he’ll recognize that nothing will ever make me happy, and he will put me to rest