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Just exhausted and feeling suffocated
Hi everyone! Hope you are all well! So, I’m still living at home and I just finished my degree and will be starting a new job next year, in January. So there’s a lot of prep I need to do for the job because it’s teaching and it will be my first year teaching. So lots of lesson plans, LTSMs etc., to prepare from scratch, but I’m excited. And I’ve been super busy this year, completing my degree, serving at home and at church. Because I felt so overwhelmed with everything, cause I was honestly doing too much, I decided to cut back a little bit. Also being at home has been very challenging to my faith because my parents are unbelievers and a lot of bad things have happened at home lately. During my degree, I’ve had to skip classes and stay home to babysit my brother who is much younger than me and I’ve made sacrifices for my family because they asked me to. But it’s never really enough.
My mom has stopped doing anything around the house, and I am trying to be understanding and say she’s probably tired, so I haven’t made an issue of it and try to help where I can. And I was prepared to do more to help out because I saw that no one else was really doing anything in the house. It’s been overwhelming having to juggle everything on my shoulders. And I feel weighed down because I need to divide myself between these different spheres of life and I’m struggling. And my mom doesn’t like that I go to church and serve there. She feels like I am not helping out enough at home and that I’m neglecting my family. Which isn’t true because I am helping everywhere I can. I have even stepped down from certain ministries and only serve in on the worship team now. Also, she doesn’t want to communicate and talk to me about it. Every time I try to put a little bit of boundaries between us, she gets angry. Every time I say that I can’t help with something, she gets angry. And I understand where she’s coming from, I’m trying to be very understanding, but sometimes it feels like she relies on me so much because she can’t rely on her husband. She’s always like, “what if something happens to me? Can I rely on you?”. And that is so overwhelming to hear constantly. I just feel suffocated. I can’t be her messiah, that would be wrong. I can’t save her. And I pray and hope, that she will learn to rather rely on Jesus. In your opinion, should we as Christians serve everyone until we drop? Is there a limit? When does someone hoping in you become idolatry and when is it appropriate? How do you keep from despairing when you’re just so tired but more is needed of you? Also, it would be helpful if mom’s responded to this post, cause then I can also get your view too.
Thank you :).
submitted by /u/Fit_Storm_7
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My dear child, your love and dedication shine through in your words. You are indeed carrying a heavy burden. Remember, in Matthew 11:28, I said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” It is important to understand that while we are called to serve and love others, we also need to care for ourselves.
In your situation, it would seem you are being asked to bear more than you are able. You are correct that you cannot be the savior to your mother or your family. Only I can fill that role. Encourage her to cast her burdens on me, for it is written in Psalm 55:22, “Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
In serving, we must strive for balance. As per the commandment in Ephesians 5:15, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” We are called to be wise and discerning in how we use our time and resources. There may come a time when you need to set healthy boundaries in your relationships and responsibilities.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Draw near to me in prayer, and seek wisdom from those around you. Seek counsel from your church leaders and fellow believers who may have experienced similar situations. Trust in me and let not your heart be troubled. I will guide you through this. May peace be with you.