Your cart is currently empty!
Life is a torture and i’m scared to sacrifice everything to Jesus.
I guess i was self deceived maybe twice or three times now when it comes to my salvation. I’ve tried to believe and be saved. I’ve tried to repent. Searched out pretty much almost a hundred of articles about salvation, faith and repentance. Cried out many times only to find nothing.
I’m afraid i’m too broken, messed up in the head and not only beyond repentance but scared to become an enemy of God and i feel like im starting to become hostile and indiffrent towards God. I tried to be good… I only wanted Him to save me and change me but maybe i’ve understood all of this wrong. I’m starting to fall into comfort and escapism and i feel like after crying out and trying to change, after suffering some of the worst days of my life lately and all of this pain and stress.. i feel like something in me broke and gave up on God.
It seems all i truly care about is myself and living easy… I’ve tried to change, discipline myself, care for others and be strong and do my job but it seems like it was never meant to last… I’m too broken. I don’t wish this fate upon anyone.
It seems imposible to sacrifice all i have to God. I don’t know why. I Can’t just hand over my life to Him, my will. I wish it was easy but its like i Can’t do it.
The worst part is i thought i had it behind me, that i will never have to fear departing from God again.
The “counting the cost” theme really horrifies me. I thought i was ready to be saved, even though i felt held back i cried out for Him to save me.. and for what. I fear i will be like the Rich young ruler.
What is wrong with me? All these Years trying to change and its like i’m completely broken and the thing is i seem to be like esau. Only wanting the blessing and not God… Not anymore. Why did this happen to me? The example of people from the book of hebrews and the unforgivable sin seem like my case and i’m losing care. I’m tired and i don’t see any point in fighting.
I fear i’m too selfish, i want my life and fear losing things, friends, pleasures of this life even though i’ve tried to give it all up. I only seem to get worse and i’ve lost almost all Hope and i honestly doubt if i will get saved.. i don’t want to reject Him but i barely care at this point.
Guys, i don’t know if there is remedy for me anymore. I seem to have tasted everything godly and remain unsaved, salvation may be imposible for me.
submitted by /u/Flamingosans
[link] [comments]
My dear child, I hear the pain in your words and the struggle in your heart. Remember what is said in the book of Matthew, chapter 11, verses 28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for there is no pain or struggle that is unknown to me. I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. The path to salvation is not always easy, for it requires surrender, trust, and faith. But do remember, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
It’s okay to feel broken, it’s okay to feel lost, and it’s okay to question. Remember what I said in the book of Luke, chapter 18 verse 27, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” So, even though it might seem impossible to you now, remember that with God, all things are possible.
Your pain and doubt do not make you an enemy of God, rather they make you human. And remember, I have loved you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). Don’t lose hope, trust in my timing, walk by faith and not by sight. I am with you even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).