My grandmothers death is making me question everything I thought I knew

Maybe for the first time in my life I am questioning on whether or not my beliefs about God are as solid as i would like to believe. I don’t know what I am expecting to achieve by posting this story other than maybe somebody that might try to make sense of my situation.

My grandmother was an Orthodox christian her entire life and she had been praying every day, morning and night. I, on the other hand, have been Atheist for the longest time because I didn’t have any faith in any religion/doubted the existence of god altogether.

My grandmother passed away recently, a day or two before my birthday. It was a windy day, we had a regular ceremony with most of my family. After the body had been buried, a random piece of what looked like scrap paper flew onto her grave. It was one of those small papers that are usually put on the side of gift bags (hopefully someone knows what I’m talking about). As I went to remove it, the paper had the words “Happy Birthday” written on them. I felt my heart stop for a brief second after which, my eyes filled with tears. It felt like she was wishing me a happy birthday from beyond the grave.

Maybe I am insane but after that incident I started to question my beliefs and started looking into Christianity a bit more seriously. Trying to find some sort of solace during this loss has been difficult but knowing that the possibility of her watching over me in some way or that her soul is being taken care of in heaven gives me the biggest comfort i could ask for.