Someone help me understand God’s intentions

Hello! I am 22 and I wouldn’t say I’m a big Christian but a few years ago I found peace in praying to God every now and again. I spoke to a guy that believed in God and he said to speak out to him I just have to speak in my head, so it will often be at night before I sleep and I thank him for everything I have, ask that he looks after my loved ones, tell him I love him and then say in the name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen.

My life hasn’t been very hard, and for that I’m very lucky. Sure, bad things have happened but I’ve never really questioned my relationship to God because of it. Recently, I got my heart broken by a boy I’d been with for 4 months. I was so in love with this guy and I have been a wreck since. I’ve been suicidal, depressed, my whole self image is broken, I can barely get out of bed or eat.

I know life can’t be smooth sailing forever but I have a hard time accepting why God would do this to me? Why he would make this happen. I was so happy in my life, and i know it shouldn’t but it has really damaged my relationship to God.

Can someone help me to understand why God puts people through these really hard things? I am definitely NOT strong enough and if it’s a test of some sorts then why did I have to lose the love of my life for that test 😭 Please shed some wisdom. Thank you, be nice I’m going through something.