The more I try to “prove” Christianity is real, the further I feel from it

I’ve been seriously researching Christianity, praying, and trying to stay faithful to the idea that Jesus Christ and God might truly be real. I mean no disrespect at all—especially to God or people of faith—but it’s hard when I pray or go to church and it just feels like I’m speaking into the air. Maybe the signs are right in front of me and I’m just unaware, but the harder I try to find evidence or feel something divine, the more distant everything seems.

What makes it even harder is that I’ve been praying for things to get better in my life—nothing crazy, just some fairness and peace—but it’s like I keep getting silence. Meanwhile, I see people who don’t believe in God at all, or even mock Him, thriving and getting the very things I’m hoping for. It’s hard not to feel discouraged, like I’m doing something wrong or being overlooked.

At this point, I’m starting to think maybe I just need to stop overthinking it. Keep praying, keep showing up to church, talk to priests or believers when I can, but also just live my life. If I’m meant to grow into this faith, it’ll happen. If not, I’ll find that out in time. Oddly enough, I feel more peace when I let go than when I try to force belief or proof.

Has anyone else gone through this kind of spiritual tension?