Trying to Conceive, Mad at God

I feel so guilty being mad at God, but I’m so frustrated. After two years of praying for my husband to have a softened heart toward us having children, he finally agreed 6 months ago that he was ready to try. That was 6 months ago, and still nothing. I’m the oldest child of 3, the only girl who actually did things “in the right order” with marriage first before children. My two younger sisters have children from different baby daddy’s and honestly don’t care for them like they should, as my mother cares for them half of the week. All of my friends have children or are pregnant, (except for one who never wants to have them), and they all got pregnant right away. I don’t understand. I am a Sunday school teacher for 2 year olds, and I find myself being so jealous when I give back these precious kiddos to their parents after service. We’re going to try volunteering with Together for Good in the interim to help single mothers in need of respite care for their little ones, and I’m hoping selfishly that it fills two gaps – one for the mothers/children themselves of course, and one in my heart to appease my maternal instincts.

All I’ve wanted to be is a wife and a mother, and now that my husband is finally ready, now I’m in waiting again? For how long now? I can’t help but be a little hardened toward my husband too for not being ready, but mostly because now I realize that getting pregnant is a more delicate business than I was taught. I’m also mad at my parents for not educating me, and my Christian school for the same reason. I’m just mad and sad, but also trying to trust God’s timing. I realize now that some people wait YEARS to have children so I’m trying not to be discouraged, but every month is so so hard and stings even more…

Any advice, encouragement, etc., on all of the above would be so appreciated.