What do I do?

Yesterday I went to church with a friend. I’ve been going through some hardships and she told me after service “I’d love for you to keep coming. When we’re going through struggles you need community. God didn’t make us to go through things alone”

Whenever I talk to my “community” as in my family members who I would think are supposed to be my support system 9 times out of 10 they get frustrated with me and end up yelling at me and make me feel pushed away. One person told me that I’m pushing them away by putting my problems on them. One gets frustrated with me and yells at me to talk to God. Which is probably the right advice just the wrong deliverance.

Whenever I try to talk to God about my problems it seems like I don’t know how to talk to him. I either end up crying or beg him to let me be okay. I don’t know if that’s the “right way” to go about it. I also think it’s hard because I don’t hear him talking back to me. About a month ago if you asked me I would’ve told you I’d be fine this is all just to built my faith and get me closer to God. However now I’m not so sure. I’m not confident that everything is going to be okay again but I also feel further from God than I have in the past couple months.

I feel like I’m failing at life and I am honestly terrified for the future. Does anyone have any advice or guidance? Thank you for reading.

I went to a different church for about a month but we haven’t went the past few weeks because we’ve had viruses and infections going in and out of everyone and then my friend invited me to hers yesterday since we were feeling better we went. Her church was a lot more welcoming so I think I’m going to keep going to hers vs the other I was going to.