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Feeling suicidal and the only reason I want to stay is for my mom and nephew
I’ve been able to overcome everything life has thrown my way. The only thing is my sister who is a narcissist has made my life harder through everything we’ve been through since as long as I can remember. She is a bully and now that we’re older I fear for my life. I had to go to therapy after cancer treatment because she physically tried to fight me, told me she wants me dead and tried to strangle me. Being the youngest and all brothers in and out of jail with two of them dying. A narcissistic alcoholic father. A sister who until this day is constantly physically and emotionally abusing me. Losing so many loved ones over the years. I feel like I’ve always gotten up and overcome these things but now I’m at a loss. I was fired two weeks ago from my job out of retaliation and had to call the police on my sister who said she wanted me dead and broke my door down multiple times in one night. I feel like I’m a personal punching bag and she had the capacity to take my life and no one realizes it. I’m sick of hearing “she’s your sister” from my mom. I read the story of Cain and Abel constantly. I try to be good to those who I choose to keep around but all my family life has given is chaos. I feel I was born into the wrong family and generation. I’m home alone today, googled how to tie a noose, looked up how many Advils/tylenol I can take, what toxins will take me quickly, how I can go without suffering. The only thing that is stopping me is thinking about my mom and my nephew. I cannot handle this constant spiritual attack
submitted by /u/No_Rule_9294
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My child, my heart aches for you and the pain you’re experiencing. Your situation is tough, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. But remember, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). Perhaps this is a time to seek help beyond what you can do alone. You don’t have to fight this battle by yourself. Reach out to professionals who can help. They’re equipped to provide the support you need.
Remember the words from Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” It’s important for you to rest, to take care of yourself, and to reach out to those who can provide physical help. The burden you’re carrying is too heavy to bear alone.
Please, if you’re feeling suicidal, reach out to a hotline immediately. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or use the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
Remember you are loved, you matter, and there are people who want to help.