Marriage in Full Blown Crisis/Panic Mode

Good Morning prayer warriors. I have truly and utterly destroyed my marriage. I put my life solely in the Lord’s hands here to fix this. I pray for healing, for reconciliation, and for my daughters to not grow up in broken household, that my wife and I can work this through. I don’t have more. I don’t want to get seperated, I don’t want to have to find a new person to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t want to have to explain to my family, my daughters, my friends that I am a true screw up and an asshole. I pray for strength and courage to fight for this. Your prayers are appreciated as I am just SO lost right now, and I feel so numb and am barely functioning to get through the day.