Need help

I made a post like this before but this sin has haunted me for years,and today its worse than before. I have Asperger’s and I’m in college and I want to be a soldier for Christ. I wish to say or preach sermons. I want to be better I ask for the fruit of repentance but yet I backslide, a dog returning to its vomit. I also have intrusive thoughts, I want to have peace, I want to live. But the smallest of things I do, even playing a video game or drawing I can’t succeed without a bad thought coming. I know The Lord works amazing in weakness, but it seems like I’m weak all the time. Please pray for me to be a faithful Christian. A faithful servant. A soldeie for Christ.