To have faith

Hello… Here I am again. I ask that my fellow Christians pray for me. I need strength to follow in faith. I am pretty sure I’m on the right path. No, I know I am. I’m have a serious time understanding it. I thinky heart is about to be broken again. It was so seemingly wonderful. Did I scare him away? Is God telling me to relax, have faith in him and no matter what happens it will all be ok. I do know that’s what He is saying. So why do I have such issues with that faith. I’m so used to being disappointed. Used to being used and cast aside and I’m so afraid it will happen again. God soothes our fears. We just have to let him, right? Sigh. Thank you. This is agonizing…