Addicted

I can’t stop drinking. I have an amazing wife and 2 kids. I’m 25 and have been drinking almost daily for the past 3 or 4 years. I live in the boonies of GA so traveling to church is a little difficult with work. We go every Sunday but we aren’t apart of the church. I hate myself. I can’t provide, can’t walk the walk, I can’t land a career, I really can’t do anything worth living for. I feel like if I don’t drink myself into an early grave, I’ll end up gone anyways. This could be a long rant of how I don’t feel capable or alive but I just need help. I’m getting to the end of my rope.