How can one escape maladaptive daydreaming with the help of Christ? I’ve been addicted since I was 11 — and when I returned to God, I realised how much time I had lost… and I don’t know how to stop.

I’ve had maladaptive daydreaming since I was about 11. It’s not just innocent imagination — it feels like a psychological addiction. I escape into vivid, obsessive fantasies when life gets hard, and I lose hours, even whole days. It feels like a hidden sin, a kind of slavery of the mind.

Recently, I’ve come back to God more seriously — I’m Orthodox Christian — and I’ve started seeing how much of my life I’ve spent not living. Not praying. Not being present. Just escaping into vain illusions. I feel so ashamed and trapped in this cycle.

I’m fighting to get free of it. But it’s hard. Sometimes I feel I can’t let it go on my own, even when I try with all my will. And spiritually, it terrifies me — because I know this is not how God wants us to live.

On top of this, I’ve been thinking about Catholicism. There’s a lot in it that draws me — the chants, the discipline, the saints — but I’m from Georgia, and this country is very Orthodox. If I ever converted, I’d be isolated, and I don’t think I could bear that either. So I feel very torn. There are just too much rituals and obligations in orthodoxy. Ok ok I understand, sign of obedience and respect – Yesterday priest wouldn’t grant me absolution if I didn’t veil myself. I was outraged. I will not return there again. But I cannot be without church.. Why is this tradition only in Georgian orthodoxy? I’m not saying this out of pride but are you trying to say God will not receive me without veil? Really??

I know this is a lot. But if anyone has practical advice, spiritual or practical — or even just words of understanding — I’d be really grateful. Thank you.