Husband won’t let go of the past.

I’m posting here because I need another perspective and I have no one to talk to.

Me and my husband have been married 16 years and we have 6 kids together. Both my husband and I come from very dysfunctional upbringings. This lead both of us to make bad decisions like premarital sex.

Right before I met my husband I got saved and became abstinent. I truly fell in love with God and never turned back.

Well, when I met my husband we were open about our past and I shared things with him that I was ashamed of. No biggie, we are all sinners. 16 years go by and he finds an old photo album with a picture of my ex in it. I forgot to throw it away because honestly I haven’t looked at that thing since we got married. We are 41 so we graduated some time ago.

This leads him to start treating me harshly, asking very instructive questions about my past sexual partners, him admitting that he lied about the amount of women he slept with when we got together (turns out it is way more), him verbally abusing me calling me (s!u+, and a whore). Him obsessing over my past partners penis size and their names. He thinks I’m lying about my past because I don’t want to talk about these people, but in my brain if I’ve shown you I’m a good and faithful wife (which if you ask him he’ll tell you I’m the best wife ever), and I display the fruits of the spirit (which he says I display), and I’ve been redeemed by the blood of Christ, why should the past matter? Especially when I divulged this information before we got married years ago.

He isn’t literally driving me insane, so much so that I’m thinking about leaving this marriage even though I don’t want to.

What I’m struggling with is every time he ask and question and he says he’ll stop asking, he doesn’t and it leads to more questions. This who ordeal has eaten up so much of my time and energy. Some of these sessions will go on for hours, he says if I answer one more question he’ll stop but he doesn’t.

I’m so angry because I’ve been praying about it and I feel God is not answering. It’s like he want to punish for a past that I can’t change.