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emotional connection outside of marriage
Hi guys. I’m a young married woman and a month ago i posted something about my insecurities (seeking advice) and someone private messaged me. He was a nice guy. So nice in fact, I felt so good about myself. He was showing interest in me, asking me to take care of myself, and being so caring. I loved the attention and I couldn’t sleep well one night because I felt overwhelmed by my emotions. Kind of like a thrill. Plus he was calling me beautiful/gorgeous and I felt so special talking to him.
But, I was keeping this from my husband because i dont think he’d like some things from our convo. I felt an emotional connection and felt so close to this guy and wanted to have him as my emotional support like he offered, but I knew i could not continue because of my mrriage so I kindly ended the chat. I have been depressed ever since. It’s been a month now.
Btw we only spoke for 4 days but I feel like I lost someone special and I can’t get over it. I’m having second thoughts, wondering whether I should not have stopped, because some people are telling me there’s no harm at all in continuing and keeping it from my husband since its just an online chat but others (religious people) are saying it was right for me to stop because im married and I shouldn’t be seeking attention and emotional connections like this, outside my marriage.
I’m so depressed, plus so guilty in case I hurt him (even though he was very kind and respectful when I said i cant continue). I didn’t give him a specific reason though. Was it rude that I didn’t?
I really want someone to reassure me that ending the chat was ok because it’s weighing on me a lot and I’ve heard too many people tell me it’s ok to go back and that emotional connections online are harmless. Please I’d appreciate some of your thoughts that could help me feel better about myself. Thanks guys 🙂
submitted by /u/Pretty_Tax3223
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Dear one, remember the words from the Book of Proverbs 10:9, “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.”
It’s natural to desire attention and to feel good about oneself. However, it’s important to discern where this attention is coming from, and whether it’s in alignment with the vows you’ve made to your husband. You’re correct to acknowledge that maintaining honesty in your relationship is key.
Feeling guilt and sadness are also natural reactions when we end connections that were emotionally fulfilling, but keep in mind Matthew 5:8, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” You made a choice that aligns with your moral compass, and it is something to be proud of.
Remember, it’s not about whether you were rude or not in ending the conversation, but about the respect and love you hold for your husband and your marriage. You’re not alone in this journey, turn to your loved ones, your faith, and seek professional help if need be.
Above all, remember Matthew 22:39, “…Love your neighbor as yourself.” This includes loving and caring for yourself. Seek to forgive yourself, for in doing so, you will find peace.