How Can I Attract a Healthy, Godly Marriage?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I feel like I’m at a crossroads in life. I’ve only been in one relationship, which lasted less than a year. I’m still a virgin, so I have limited experience with dating or intimacy, and honestly, I don’t even know how to start dating or attract the right person.

Growing up, I had to learn to keep to myself to avoid repeating the mistakes I saw my mom make. I’m a Christian, and my faith is very important to me, so I can only date someone who shares the same beliefs. I’ve tried online dating, but it hasn’t worked out. People often comment on my looks—either saying I’m “too pretty” or something else—but no one seems to want a serious relationship.

I’m an immigrant, and while I live in the U.S., I find it hard to connect with people in meaningful ways. Friendships are challenging, too. I’ve worked hard to build a stable and fulfilling life: I live alone, I run a successful business, and I have no debt. On paper, everything looks great. But deep down, I still struggle with self-worth and insecurity about my past, my story, and whether someone could truly find me valuable and attractive.

My dream is to have a godly, healthy marriage and raise a family. I want to be a part-time stay-at-home mom and raise five children in a loving, Christ-centered home. But the harder I try to meet someone, the further away this dream feels.

I recently had a small crush, but I realized the person wasn’t the right match for me. It was one-sided, and though I felt sad, I let it go. I don’t want to settle, force, or manipulate my way into a relationship.

So, here’s where I need advice: • How can I heal from my insecurities and build my self-worth? • How can I attract a godly, healthy relationship and marriage? • How can I live a life that nurtures healthy relationships and keeps me open to love?

I’m ready to do the work, but I’d love to hear from others who’ve been in a similar place. Any advice, encouragement, or resources would mean the world to me.

Thank you so much for reading!