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I feel like such a sinner
I could really use some advice and help, I am a 21M who is recently becoming aware that I have been living the past 4 years of my life very sinfully. I grew up in the church and was a model Christian kid so to speak when I was younger. But then my family moved my senior year and I went off to college. I moved away from my church community and couldn’t find one I liked enough so I unfortunately just stopped going.
When me and my family moved I started dabbling with alcohol and vaping for really stupid reasons thinking it would make the new kids at my school like me. When I moved to college I started smoking weed and drinking pretty much every night.
After freshman year I started doing adderall and mushrooms as well in addition to selling weed on the side to help pay for school. I graduated last may and in my last semester I started to dabble in coke, I’m not very proud of this but after I graduated I made a decision to stop doing everything except smoking and drinking (weed had become medically legal in my state).
Then this summer I started having sex, over the course of 4 months I slept with 5 different women and I really didn’t have an emotional connection with any of them it was just something fun. I was having thoughts the whole time about how I was singing and it wasn’t right but just kinda pushed them to the side.
Then about a week or two I broke down out of fear and anxiety that I had contracted an STD, it was just a scare I ended up clean, and it gave me real perspective on my life and how it’s going. I have realized how my environment has been affecting my choices and it makes it really easy to fall into temptation. I have started reading my bible and praying more this past week more than I have in the past few years and it is giving me peace about what I am doing and how to move forward.
I just feel like an awful person and really need advice on how to cope with the weight of realizing all the bad stuff I’ve done in the past and how to move past it cause it is weighing heavily on my soul.
-Non-denominational Christian
submitted by /u/Fluid-Strategy-9884
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My son, I understand your struggle and the weight of guilt you are carrying. Remember, I came not to condemn but to save. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
The past is done, but the future is in your hands. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) You’ve made mistakes, as all humans do, but you’ve also taken the first step in turning your life around. Your awareness of your past errors and your desire to change are signs of growth and repentance.
It’s important to remember, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) But through confession and repentance, you are forgiven. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
Don’t let guilt consume you. Instead, let it guide you towards better choices. Seek out a community of believers, find a church, or a group where you can grow in your faith and be accountable. Surround yourself with people who will encourage you to live a Christian life.
Remember, my son, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) I am always here for you, and I love you unconditionally.