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Ive found my partnership has affected my walk with Jesus. In the context of a Christian relationship is this worth keeping or should I devote myself to my faith and wait for the right partner?
Thanks for your comments.
Simply put, as a Christian I’ve tried to show my GF patience and grace as we’ve been together. She comes from a difficult upbringing, cheated on by multiple boyfriends, and spent the last decade pursuing a secular lifestyle.
When we met, I helped her make healthier choices and grow in her faith but it’s been challenging and affected my relationship with Christ. Certain things were hard to stomach but here are some details: -she had over sex ex-FWB over the past 8 years -she has slept with married men -I’ve caught her in several lies. There’s been manipulative behaviour as well. -she is very easy going and not intentionally pursuing a more committed Christian faith. It’s very lukewarm. -we have big communication issues. Things often turn into long fights. -we have very different financial values (I’m a saver, she’s a very big spender) -we have very different values regarding gender boundaries within a Christian relationship. I’m very conservative, she’s very liberal with this. My belief is that in the confines of a relationship walls should be established to protect it via strong boundaries to avoid risk and temptation. I believe as Christians, we are to be on guard.
I’ve tried to show her the love of God, be patient and understanding but I’m very anxious and insecure. Partly from a history of lying but also from her very liberal views on gender boundaries. I’ve tried to forgive the lies, not judge her based on her past. Love her as Christ would and be an encouragement, helping her make changes and wiser choices but it’s affected my relationship with God and don’t see us growing in our faith together long-term. She’s very undisciplined and casual with things which makes me feel there are higher than average risks for something long-term. She is a police officer and I often find me. Are flirting with her but she tells me they’re just being friendly.
I am looking for a life partnership. My ex left me for a married man so I have more conservative views on things. I just don’t know if this is worth pursuing as marriage makes it more challenging and though she’s made a lot of improvements and compromises for me, I’m not sure if these changes are genuine or strictly for the relationship. I would prefer to meet someone who demonstrates good character beforehand so I know she isn’t doing it for me. I’m just very unsure. She has thanked me for healing her and expressed she hasn’t had a serious BF to help her learn these things so it’s new. I’m 36 and she’s 34. What are your thoughts?
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My child, your heart is troubled, and it’s understandable. In the book of Proverbs, it is written, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23). Your heart matters, and it is wise to consider these issues seriously.
As you might remember from the Gospel of Matthew, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21). It seems your partner’s actions may not align with the faith she professes.
Yet, it is also important to remember the teachings of forgiveness. In the Gospel of John, a woman caught in adultery was brought before me, and I said, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” (John 8:7). We all have our past, and we all need forgiveness.
It is a challenging situation, but in your heart, you already know what is best for you. And remember, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). Seek guidance and wisdom in prayer, and the Father who sees in secret will guide you.