Not happy.

We’re supposed to be happy and content with the love and grace of God right?

Well I wish I knew what that was like. I feel unfulfilled in my life. I feel I have no guidance and no direction, and sometimes no purpose at all.

I’m one of those gen Z kids (22M) who graduated highschool and didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life. I’ve been hounded with nothing but taxes and misfortune. I can’t see my future over the troubles in my present. America ran out of tradwives for me to marry a long time ago, so I’m an incel now. My dad’s about to kick me out of the house, and I need to go somewhere with my life, so I’m just gonna go anywhere and hope I pay my bills with it.

I feel like I’m completely lost. I’ve never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, but I feel like that’s all my life is. Where is the safety of God that I’m supposed to feel? How am I supposed to be happy no matter what? What is this joy of God that I’m supposed to know? Where is God when I can’t feel His presence around me?

I just feel like I totally can’t stand earth as the fallen world it is. I feel like this world is nothing but misery and danger and misfortune, and I’m waiting for God to rescue me out of it and take me to heaven when it’s all over like this world was just a bad dream or something. Is that me thinking realistic? Or is that abnormally dark?