Thoughts?

I’ve back slid a lot in my faith, I’m 19 years old and I’ve struggled with my faith, including drugs and sexual sins, and more. I feel like I’ve back slid so much to the point I don’t feel Gods presence anymore. I want to thirst for righteousness and to be Christ like but I don’t feel the Holy Spirit anymore, I’m trying to press on but I’m struggling. Ik what I should be doing but I’m struggling to do it and find the motivation to do it. I’m scared for my souls sake. I need your thoughts and opinions, as well as prayers please.