Desperately need prayer

I am in such bad shape after being hospitalized for an infected cyst and subsequently my life was ruined after being administered IV antibiotics Zosyn x 5 days, Ancef x 7 days then Bactrium and Keflex orally for another 7 days,in addition to countless other medications for pain and sleep. My life is literally torture 24/7. I am on State Disability and housebound honestly can’t take this much longer, I can’t stop thinking about endingy suffering. I can’t believe I let this happen to myself 😭😭