Pray that I keep my faith

I was an atheist until my mid 30s. About a year ago, I was suicidally depressed. I had just gotten back from a deployment I got injured on and discharged from the military. I was regularly drunk, stoned and tripping. One night I went up to the Golden Gate Bridge, which is near my apartment, and I was wrestling hard with whether or not to jump. A few days later I cried out to God, and long story short, I believed.

Now it’s been a long year. And a year on, 6 months at a church, I’m not sure I still believe in God. And I’m not sure I’m going to stay in church. And I want to. I’m also a homosexual man who is celibate.

I’m desperate to believe. This sense of despair I have is awful. I have an extreme emptiness and I want to know God is with me more than anything. I’m looking for a reason to keep believing before I give up on God.

Please pray for me. Last ditch effort here.