Pls pray for me to not get delayed for another year in college

Hi. I’m 4 years delayed in college already. I have Bipolar Disorder type 2 and the depression has just overtook me semester after semester and I know I am at fault in some ways because I denied my need for help and medication. I’m afraid that I might get delayed again, or worse – get disqualified to enroll, due to negligence and I’m so tired already. I’m not independent enough and I want to bring honor to my family but I keep on disappointing everyone especially God.

I am so tired of living and I feel lonely because I am isolating from church because I am ashamed of my failures. I feel like I disappoint my leaders and my friends who hoped with and for me.

I asked God for grace to give me the will to persevere and I believed that nothing is impossible with Him. I do not understand why He withheld His power. I do not understand if He is keeping me here for a reason or if I am stuck because of my sin of “laziness”. I feel like I condemn myself and I do not know if my mental struggle is valid because a church-mate has labeled it as laziness. That may be true but that’s how I grew up to be. No one to disciplined me growing up and I struggle to discipline myself. I am so tired pls pray for me. Pls pray for favor and grace for me to be enrolled this coming semester and for me to do well by the Spirit’s strength. Pls pray for smooth and speedy communication with professors and administrators. Please pray for the things that I need to process to be done on time and please also pray for my mental health because I am weary. Thank you very much.